No light, no light
by LittleMermade
Summary: The teams struggle with the aftermath of the Civil War. Soon they see that not every kind of damage can be repaired. Part 5 of my Romanogers- Civil War story arc; R&R
1. Chapter 1

**There isn't much to say about this… I can tell you that life is unexpected and it can be a real b… well… not always nice. There are lots of things on my mind and a new part of my has just started – university. I am not really happy about it, because I am only going because my parents think it's the best and I don't know what else to make of my life…**

 **However, I think that thoughtful and melancholic and sad tone that is present in my life is also present in 'No light, no light'. It was planned dark, but not that dark I guess. Enjoy anyway! By the way, I pictured Chris Pine as Johnny Storm in this series – leave me a comment with your suggestions, also for the other not MCU-characters :) (I'd go with India Eisley as Kate Bishop, I liked Ioan Gruffudd as Reed Richards and I would cast Jaime King as Susan Richards)**

 **You're here at part 5, check out the other ones! :)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers. The title is inspired by the song 'No light, no light' by Florence and the Machine. I recommend listening to it.**

 **Warnings: Character death, cursing, blood**

* * *

The light in the hospital room was dazzlingly white. It reflected from the sterile, white walls. It got caught in the way too white blinds. It was in the middle of the night. Side by side the two teams were sitting in that very room.

Rhodey was in a wheelchair by the window. He had woken up about an hour ago. The gunshot wound had caused a lot of blood loss, so he wasn't able to stand properly yet. He didn't dare talking, nobody did. Only two noises filled the air. The first one was the beeping of Sam's heart monitor, the second one was Wanda's light sobbing.

Hank was sitting in one of the two chairs available. He was rubbing his temple with his thumbs and shaking his head. Hope was standing next to her father holding tightly onto Scott's hand. Scott was grinding his teeth scarcely audible. He was staring at Hope's and his entwined fingers. It didn't seem real. It couldn't be real.

Bucky was sitting on the floor with Wanda on his lap. He held her tightly in his arms and ran his human fingers through her hair. Softly he whispered words of consolation in her ear, but she couldn't stop sobbing and shaking violently. Dry trails, left behind by teardrops, were clearly visible on Wanda's soft cheeks and new tears were about to fall.

Johnny had been sitting in the unoccupied chair for a few minutes because his injuries were hurting, but he couldn't sit still. The room made him nervous, the whole building made him feel uneasy and the thing that terrified him the most was the meaningless beeping of the heart monitor. He was pacing through the room like a caged animal, ignoring the pain in his chest from the broken ribs.

Tony wasn't saying a word. He wasn't wearing his suit anymore, but jeans and a grey hoody instead. He was standing near the window and eyed the ground one hand on Peter's shoulder. Peter stayed silent as well. He swallowed heavily and stayed close to Tony. The kid didn't really know what to do, he didn't really know Sam, but it was sad anyway.

Reed had left as soon as the others had gotten registered and so had Vision who was taking care of everything in the tower currently. Bruce was in another room. He hadn't talked to the others since the battle, but Tony planned on visiting him later. He knew Bruce blaimed himself and that would destroy him. The Hulk was a part of Bruce, but he couldn't control that part and what the Hulk did had nothing to do with Bruce's actions.

All heads shot up all at once when a doctor entered the room. He cleared his throat hesitantly and made his way over to Tony: „His vital parameters are not at all good. The only reason why his heart is beating is the machine… No brainwaves visible anymore. I am sorry. Mr. Wilson has personally signed a document for such a case. When you are ready I will turn the machine off." Wanda stopped sobbing, but she was shaking more intensly. Bucky pulled her closer to him and stared at the doctor. Tony nodded slightly and let go of Peter. He walked over to the bed and looked down at Sam. He didn't really know what to say, so instead he just shook his head. Tony chewed on the insides of his cheeks and sighed. After a few minutes had passed his voice came out aphonic and was lacking of its usual quipped tone: „I'm sorry…"

Tony eyed the ground before moving back to his spot next to Peter. Bucky gently kissed Wanda's cheek and carefully rose from the floor, dragging the girl up with him. Delicately the Winter Soldier led Wanda to Sam's bedside. Wanda had a distant look in her glassy eyes and bit her lip in order not to start sobbing again. Bucky wrapped one arm around the Scarlet Witch to support her. Wanda held tightly onto Bucky with one hand and gently touched Sam's hand with her other hand. A shiver ran down her spine when the thought that her friend for years and partner on the battlefield lay still in front of her – about to die and vanish from her future. Wanda swallowed heavily, but she couldn't stop more tears from running down her cheeks. Wanda squeezed Sam's hand for a moment before letting go and burying her face in Bucky's shirt. Bucky looked at Sam once more, before he carefully left the bedside taking Wanda with him. When they reached their spots in the room Bucky shot a look at Johnny who had crouched on the floor against the wall. Both of his hands were buried in his hair and he wasn't moving at all. Scott knelt down and hesitantly put his hand on Johnny's shoulder: „Hey… Johnny. It's okay. No one is to blaim, okay?" Johnny only tensed at Scott's touch and didn't respond. Scott gritted his teeth and straightened himself again. He knew he wouldn't be able to tell his friend what to do and how to deal with it. He would have to find a way for himself.

The doctor looked around to check if everybody was done with saying their goodbyes. After about a minute of silence he walked over to the bed and switched the heart monitor off. The last sound left, the solid beeping, had died. The doctor removed the oxygen mask and the other machinery. He raised his eyes to face Tony again and then he left without saying another word. Slowly Johnny put his hands down and looked up to see Sam. His eyes were cold and his jaw was tense. He glared at Tony for a few seconds before he stood up and rushed out of the room. Hope followed him with her eyes and then faced Scott in concern: „Will he be okay?" Scott bit his bottom lip and returned the look: „I don't think that anyone will be okay anytime soon."

* * *

„He did what?", Natasha had woken up just a few minutes ago and her head still hurt like hell, but that was the last thing she cared about in that moment. Clint sighed: „He gave up to protect the team… Sam got hurt badly and you were out too. He considered that as the right thing…" Natasha bit her lip: „But… the others… What about Scott's daughter, Johnny's girlfriend and your family, Clint?" Clint eyed the ground: „I know. There was no other way, we'll all have to be careful." Natasha leaned against the wall: „Where is Steve now?" Clint sat down next to her on the extemporary hospital bed: „Fury found out… he has the address." Natasha turned her head to look at him: „I know… you want to go home as soon as possible, but… could we drop by there?" Clint nodded slightly: „Sure. Already on our way."

Natasha looked down on her hands: „Thank you…" Clint tried a smile: „I know, you want to kill him for that… I don't want to be the one standing in your way." Natasha smirked lightly: „Shouldn't you be the one who doesn't fear me?" Clint grinned: „I don't fear you, Nat. I am your best friend, remember?" Natasha smiled at him: „Really? I almost forgot." Clint stood up and turned to face Nat again: „I know, you won't like that, but you should catch some more sleep. I will wake you, when we are there." Natasha was about to protest, but her vision was still a little blurry and she was tired. Hence, she nodded and laid down on the bed again.

Clint looked down at Nat one more time and sighed. Then he started walking to the door that led from the small cabin with the bed to the pilot's cab. It wasn't that loud because the chopper had been updated with Stark's tech. Clint sat down next to Sharon in the chair right behind Fury. Sharon put her headphones down and looked at Clint: „Are you okay?" Clint nodded: „Yes, Nat is going to be fine." Sharon raised an eyebrow: „Yes… but… are you?"

Clint had a surprised look on his face: „What do you mean?" Sharon pushed a strand of hair behind her ear: „I mean the SRA. Don't you think about it all the time?" Clint gritted his teeth: „Of course. But life is full of challenges and it's all about mastering them." Sharon nodded slightly. She had a feeling that he wasn't telling the truth, but it was none of her business. Clint could tell what she was thinking, he looked down and he sighed: „Of course I am worried, but it's over, okay? I can't stop the act any longer. I have to live with it, but it is not fair that Laura and my children have to live with it too. It's bothering me, that they will have to face the opinion of others in school, that others will give Laura that pitiful, but also admiring look. Those things are bothering me. Although there is one thing that isn't bothering me, but it shocks me: They are in danger. My family is my life and there are people who want to take that life away from me. I fear that, I am afraid that I won't be able to protect them any longer. That is how I feel, Carter…"

Sharon took a deep breath and shook her head: „I… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ask. I wanted you to feel better, but I can't give you that feeling." Clint raised his eyes and nodded: „Thank you, anyway. You don't have to help me, or Natasha. You are here nevertheless." Sharon tried a smile and changed the topic gently: „We will be in DC in about an hour. You should rest." Clint was thankful for that and simply nodded, while leaning back in his seat.

Meanwhile a ripped and bloodied uniform was placed in a locker. Its owner put on an orange onesie instead. The worst of his injuries had been looked over by a doctor and bandaged. Steve sighed softly and was led to a cell by two of the prison's guards. They hadn't told him about the condition of the others, yet. Probably they didn't know, but it gave Steve an uneasy feeling to have no idea about his team. He was responsible for them and it was hard for him to stay calm when he was locked away from them. Hopefully he would have a chance to contact them soon, hopefully they were okay, hopefully Natasha was okay.

Steve sat down on the cot standing by the wall. It was so quiet in his cell. When he had given up on the battlefield it had been incredibly loud. All of the reporters had followed him to the police car and showered him with questions, but he hadn't said a word. However, as soon as the doors of the car had shut, silence had laid it's veil over everyone. None of the officers and guards had spoken to him more than regarding the neccessary information. Probably it was better that way.

Suddenly the door was opened and a guard raised his voice: „Please come with me… You have got some visitors." Steve decided against asking for their identity and nodded, before standing up. He followed the man to a room near his cell, where two familiar faces were looking at him from the table. Bucky and Wanda looked somehow relieved, that he was okay, but there was horror in their eyes too. Wanda's eyes were red and she was even paler than usual. Bucky held her hand tightly and didn't really meet Steve's eye. Steve immediately knew that something had happened. He made his way to the table and sat down opposite of the both of them. He cleared his throat, before carefully speaking up: „What has happened?"

Wanda winced slightly at his question and eyed the ground. Bucky hesitated, then he faced Steve and swallowed heavily: „Sam's dead…"

Steve only stared at Bucky for a few moments and shook his head no: „That… can't be true…" He chewed on his bottom lip and cursed under his breath before running his hands through his hair: „I did that… it's my fault." Bucky slightly shook his head: „You couldn't do anything, Steve. Sam joined you because he wanted to and he knew the risk." Steve sighed: „No… there is always something to prevent that." Wanda shook slightly and her voice came out werily: „Steve… stop thinking about it. All the others are okay."

Steve looked up when Wanda said that: „What about Stark's people?" Wanda nodded: „Yes." Steve hesitated: „Clint and Natasha." Wanda eyed Bucky before returning her eyes to Steve: „We don't know… they fled before the police took us to Stark tower and the hospital." Steve nodded slightly: „Then it's fine."

Wanda hesitated: „Steve… what is going to happen to you?" Steve looked at Wanda: „I commited a crime… I will have to face the court." Wanda shook her head: „No. We are all in this together. It's not fair that you are blaimed for it alone." Steve smiled: „Don't worry about it Wanda. I'll be okay, it is better that way." Wanda sighed and nodded, she knew he wouldn't give in. Steve turned to Bucky: „Are you alright?" Bucky smiled: „Well… besides the fact, that some arrogant bastards in the White House locked my friend away in a damn prison and everything… I am okay." Steve smirked: „You were never one to take things seriously." Bucky put his arm around Wanda: „I know that our situation is not the best at the moment, but hey, probably I can cheer it up a bit." Steve eyed the ground again: „I… I hope I will be allowed to go to Sam's funeral." Bucky looked at the guard for a moment: „I'm sure we can somehow manage to do that." Steve nodded, but kept his head bowed.

Suddenly the door opened and a voice claimed the attention of everyone inside that room: „I always said, that orange was not your color, Rogers." Steve rose from the chair and smiled just the slightest bit: „I thought I could wear anything and still look good, Romanoff." Natasha had her arms akimbo: „Who am I fooling? That's true." Steve walked over to her and hugged her: „I was worried about you." Natasha hugged him back and let go afterwards: „I was worried about you, okay… How could you do something so stupid?" Steve sighed: „Natasha… I was in charge. I needed to make sure you all were save… but… it…" He eyed the ground again when Natasha raised an eyebrow: „What? What's wrong?" She shot a glance at Bucky and Wanda and noticed that they were also dismayed. Steve needed a moment longer before turning his attention back to her: „It's Sam… he didn't make it." Natasha just stared at Steve in shock and horror. She had known Sam for years now. They had grown pretty close on the battlefield and in private. Natasha swallowed and exhaled audibly, while whispering a 'No'. Steve knew that she would never show it because she was the Black Widow and she didn't cry or searched for assistance. Carefully Steve pulled her into another hug and ran his fingers through her hair.

Over her shoulder he could see Wanda lean against Bucky once again. It would take the pitiful girl a long time to overcome that loss, especially after she had already lost her brother. Bucky stood up and took Wanda's hand: „We should go back to the hospital… I hope we can see each other again soon." Steve nodded: „Hopefully." The door was opened and Wanda and Bucky left. Steve hesitantly let go of Nat and caressed her cheek: „Hey… are you alright?" Natasha nodded: „I… I think so. Sorry." Steve sighed: „Don't apologize for that. It's okay, really." Nat hugged him tighter once more before letting go.

One of the guards raised his voice: „Sorry to interrupt, but it's not allowed to stay in the visitor room for longer than 15 minutes. You have to leave, Miss…" Natasha shook her head: „No, please let me stay a little longer. I will also follow to the cell and stand in front of it." The guard sighed: „I'm afraid, that isn't allowed either…" Natasha shot him a deadly glance: „It's just today and I won't stay long." The guard knew very well that the woman standing in front of him was a deadly assassin so he decided against arguing and allowed her to follow him and Steve back to the cell.

Steve stepped inside and the guard locked the barred door behind him. He looked at Natasha once more before walking away and leaving them alone. Steve followed the guard with his eyes until he was gone. He turned to Natasha afterwards. Natasha eyed the ground before looking up and meeting his eye: „Why do you have to be such a nice guy, Steve?" Steve cracked a smile and took her hand, since she was standing closely to the door: „Listen… I had to do something. They would have locked up everyone. But remember that I love you and the court will understand, why we did this." Natasha sighed and squeezed his hand: „I am pissed off as fuck… but I still love you and I guess that means trusting you."

Steve chuckled lightly: „I promise it will be alright… they told me that they prioritized this, so the court will already hear me out in two days…" Natasha nodded: „Okay… that's good. I'll be there." Steve pulled her a little closer. Only the bars seperated them now: „Natasha… don't worry about it so much. And… pay the others a visit, please. I… can't."

Natasha bit her bottom lip before speaking again: „I… I wanted to go see Sam anyway…" Steve took a deep breath and nodded: „Right… Take care." Natasha hesitated, but then she leaned forward and kissed him briefly. Steve returned the kiss before letting go of her hand.

When Nat turned to leave she saw a familiar face standing near the door. She just shot the person a glare before passing him and leaving.

Steve crossed his arms in the cell: „What are you doing here?" The man removed his sunglasses and started walking towards the cell: „Sorry to interrupt your little heart-rending moment with Little Red…"

„Don't try to be funny, Tony… Sam is dead, the fun is gone.", Steve's jaw was tense. The billionaire stopped a few feet from the bars: „I know… I was there – in the hospital – but don't blaime me, I never intended…" Steve raised his voice: „Don't give me that shit! 'You never intended'… when you fight you always intend to harm, don't you dare contradict."

Tony ran a hand through his hair: „Okay! It's my fault! Bruce warned me about the Hulk, I didn't listen. But you were the one to fight the SRA in the first place." Steve sighed: „Yes, because it's reckless and I still think so… although it is my fault too…" Tony raised an eyebrow: „You admit that?" Steve nodded slightly: „Yeah… there are always two sides of a coin. But you will see…"

Tony turned his sunglasses in his hand: „What? What will I see?" Steve eyed the ground while talking: „That Sam is maybe the first victim of your SRA, but clearly not the last."

Tony exhaled audibly: „What happened to your 'We'll do it together'-speech? Isn't it more important that the fight is over and we can manage that thing together than to argue about it all over again?" Steve put on a small smile and looked up to face Tony again: „I won't try to stop the act any longer, but I won't play along either… You misinterpreted my decision. I won't be the government's little pawn, I won't be part of the Avengers if they release me from prison."

„Excuse me? You didn't just quit… did you?", Tony tugged at the sleeves of his undoubtedly expensive coat. Steve stepped forward and held onto the bars with one hand: „I did… and I bet I am not the only one."

Tony's eyes fluttered from one corner of the room to the floor before returning to Steve: „Think what you want, but I am sure that won't sell."

Steve shook his head: „Tony… I don't blaim you, but I don't want to discuss with you any longer, okay? Please go now."

After hesitating a moment and considering if he should speak up again Tony simply nodded and turned away. He started walking to the door, but stopped halfway: „I'll put in a good word for you at the court." Then he started walking again, but the corners of his mouth turned upward when he heard a murmured 'Thank you' from the cell behind him.

* * *

Natasha couldn't bear the atmosphere in the room. They hadn't taken Sam away yet so Natasha had gone to the hospital to check on everyone. At first Nat thought she was the only visitor in the room, but she felt a pair of eyes lingering on her when she was about to sit down by the bedside. She turned around to see Scott sitting in the corner on the floor. She looked at him for a few moments, before quietly saying: „How long have you been here?"

Scott changed his position slightly and eyed her: „Don't know… how long has it been since…?" Natasha sighed: „Hours…" Scott dropped his head on his knees: „Then I've been here for hours." Natasha: „Go home, Scott. You need some rest, everybody's gone." Scott only shook his head without looking up again: „No… can't."

Natasha walked over to him and crouched down besides him: „Come on… why do you sit around here? It's not helping anyone." Scott chewed on his lip and looked at her now: „I can't leave, Natasha… I am the only one left and… I don't want to leave him all alone." Natasha frowned slightly: „Scott… it's alright. Go and catch some sleep, I am here now." Scott just looked at her for a while before nodding: „Thank you…"

He supported himself against the wall and stood up slowly. Natasha also straightened again, she watched Scott walking over to the bed and looking at Sam for the last time, before he left the room. Natasha sighed again and returned to the bed herself. She sat down in one of the two chairs standing by the bed and took Sam's hand. For a while she just sat in silence, but then her she whispered a little too broken for the Black Widow: „What the hell, Wilson… Why do you always have to do those stupid things? It's not fair to just scram now, you know? If I could I'd kick your damn ass now…" Natasha bit her lip and looked away. She took a deep breath and blinked away the tears. Then she was silent again.

For about an hour the room lay in total silence. Finally it was interrupted by the door creaking open and Natasha immediately turned around to find Bruce standing by the door, staring at her: „I… I am sorry… I thought that everybody would be gone by now." Natasha pointed at the chair next to her: „It's no problem… come here."

Bruce hesitated, but eventually he closed the door behind him and walked over to the bed. He took the chair next to Natasha and sat down. Bruce avoided looking at Sam, but instead stared down: „Are you alright, Natasha?" Nat nodded slightly and turned to face him: „Yes… I'm not injured that badly. Are you… okay?" Bruce kept his voice low: „You know I can't get hurt…" Natasha sighed and shook her head: „That is not what I meant."

Bruce chewed on his bottom lip and bit it open: „I… I don't know… it… it was me after all. It's my fault and I can't repair it." Natasha hesitated before placing one hand on his shoulder: „Bruce… you can't help it. You were not yourself and you couldn't control it. It was the other guy."

Bruce clenched his fist: „You don't understand… I cannot tell myself that I am innocent every single time. I created the… the Hulk and every single one of his actions is mine too."

Natasha slanted her head to see his face: „Come on… it has already happened and you shouldn't forget about the circumstances. You only wanted to do the thing you considered as right and helpful. You couldn't know." Bruce hesitated before looking up. He looked at Sam for minutes without saying a word. Subsequently he leaned back and eyed Natasha: „What… what happened to Steve?"

Natasha met his eye: „He is okay… but in prison. They will hear him out in two days." Bruce nodded slightly: „At least… I… probably I will go back to India."

Natasha nodded slightly: „I understand… but you don't have to go, you know right?" Bruce sighed: „Stop… I know you all… you are trying to play it down and make me feel comfortable, but it doesn't work. I am getting used to it and I learnt that the best way to deal with it, is to do something nice and I feel nice when I can actually help the people." Natasha looked down: „I see… When will you leave?"

Bruce removed his glasses and started cleaning them with his shirt: „Tomorror, I believe. I can't stay, especially for the funeral."

Natasha rose from her chair. She looked at Sam again before looking at Bruce: „But… don't disappear. Take care… and stay in touch with me. Understood?" Bruce cracked a smile and stood up as well: „Of course, Nat…" Natasha hugged the man briefly before turning and walking out of the hospital room. She was tired as hell and desperately needed a shower and a bed. Natasha stopped in front of the building and cabbed to the New Avengers facility to pick up her suitcase and to a small hotel afterwards. She couldn't go home now or she would surely be greeted by a mass of reporters and a very empty bed. It was better to stay away from all the places they would expect her to be for the following days.

* * *

 _-2 days later-_

Natasha glanced at her wristwatch once again. It was hard for her to stand still because they were supposed to be here about five minutes ago. Bucky was standing next to her. They were waiting for Steve to arrive at the big, open space near the courthouse. Tony, Clint and Wanda were standing in front of the building already when several police cars finally made their way there. They stopped next to Bucky and Natasha and it almost broke her heart when one of the officers helped Steve out of the car. His hands were handcuffed behind his back and his hair was messy. He was wearing a suit, but no tie or bow-tie. He smiled a small smile and stopped opposite of Bucky and Nat: „Hey…"

Natasha gave him a little peck on the cheek before attempting to adjust his hair: „You left us waiting…" Steve smiled, when she stepped back again: „Don't be so dramatic…"

Natasha grinned: „You know, that I am always dramatic."

Steve looked in the direction of the court house where the others were waiting for a moment, before returning his gaze to Natasha. He was about to answer her, when his smile faded away. Without hesitating he pushed her out of the way and the sound of two shots echoed through the air.

In horror Natasha watched Steve's white shirt turn crimson and him trying to breath. Immediately she rushed to his side and supported him: „Shit!"

The police officers started panicking and tried to help Nat and Bucky. No one noticed a heavily armed and shielded man with two Glock 17s in hands emerging from the last police car in the escort. He wore a black suit with a white crossbones symbol on the chestpiece. Before anyone could announce him he fired three times at the already injured man standing only a few feet away from him.

Steve winced and a small scream escaped his lips. His voice was shaking when he couldn't stand on his own any longer. He only managed to press out a barely audible 'Natasha' before falling to the floor. Natasha couldn't think about anything but Steve now. With wide eyes and in panic she fell down on her knees next to him and pressed her hands on the worst of his gunshots.

Bucky could only stare at the scene unfolding before his eyes before looking for the shooter everywhere. But the man in the black armor was nowhere to be seen anymore. The police car was missing too.

Natasha tried to fight back the tears welling in her eyes and her voice was heavy with shock: „Steve… no… please! You have to stay awake…" Natasha couldn't hold her tears back any longer when Steve's eyes slowly closed and his hand gripping her arm fell away. Natasha desperately tried to patch up the wounds with her hands, but all she could see was red soaking Steve's clothes, sticking to his hair and skin and staining her light grey blazer. A puddle was forming where Steve lied on the ground and her tears were clouding her eyes soon.

After what seemed to have been eternities a team of medics arrived and tried to push her away, but she refused to leave his side.

She kicked and clinged fast to Steve's jacket. The arms from behind her were pulling her away more forcefully now and she barely noticed herself screaming 'No' between her convulsive sobs.

Clint pulled her into a hug and started rocking her back and forth softly: „Nat… they are taking care of him. He's in the best hands." Nat barely recognized Clint's comforting words. She didn't care about the police cordoning the area quickly or Tony Stark pacing around trying to get information on the shooter. She didn't see Wanda standing by a police car staring at the spot where her mentor and friend had been moments ago. Natasha whimpered silently when more tears made their ways down her cheeks.

Meanwhile a task force agent made his way to Tony Stark. He introduced himself before starting to talk about the surveillance footage they had immediately checked out. A drone had fired the first two bullets. Those had distracted everyone from the real shooter, who appearantly was a man calling himself Crossbones, an Ex-S.H.I.E.L.D.-agent who had already commited a few robberies and dealt with illegal substances, supported HYDRA-adherents who came out of the woodwork. Tony gritted his teeth and murmured a 'Thank you' before checking on the others. He looked around before turning to Clint and Natasha: „Where's Barnes?" Clint was still holding the Black Widow tight when he looked up at Tony: „He's in the ambulance with Steve. He promised to call as soon as there is news." Tony nodded slightly: „Thanks Barton."

About two hours later Clint received a call from a distressed Bucky, of which he could only abstract that they should all come to the hospital. Carefully he helped Natasha up and Tony called the Quinjet. No one dared to say a word on the way to the hospital where Steve was at.

The team was greeted by Bucky, whose shirt was covered in dried blood. He was pacing back and forth in front of the emergency operating room. Wanda immediately hugged him when she saw him there. He held her close and took a shaky breath: „Wanda…" Wanda kept her voice low, afraid of his answer: „How's it going?" Bucky shook his head: „They… they are in surgery. Can't give me any kind of information, they told me."

Wanda nodded slightly and sighed: „That… that doesn't mean anything yet." Bucky bit his lip, he eyed the others who were just standing there for a second: „I don't know. They are inside for over two hours already. That can't be good."

Another hour passed before an exhausted doctor opened the door of the emergency operating room. Everyone immediately turned their attention to him. The young man tried to steady his voice while talking: „I… I am deeply sorry. The heart and the lungs were too badly damaged by the bullets and the blood loss was immense. We couldn't save him."

When he said that the lights began to flicker and the bulbs just above Wanda and Bucky exploded. Wanda's eyes were glowing deeply red and tears were forming in her eyes. Bucky looked shell-shocked and the young doctor should have been happy that Bucky didn't shoot him immediately. Natasha didn't really conceive what he had said at first. She slowly shook her head and was about to lose her footing, but Clint was there to catch her: „No… that can't be… he's making that up." Clint decided against commenting and just held her in his arms wordlessly.

Tony had dropped his pair of sunglasses, which shattered into pieces on the floor. He opened his mouth, but when nothing came out he closed it again. He covered his face with his hands for a few seconds before looking at the doctor again: „Thank you… for trying, anyway… can we… ?" The doctor waited patently for him to finish. He nodded slightly: „Yes… you can follow me, if you wish." He started walking inside the room again and Tony followed right behind him. Bucky hesitated, but started following him, never letting go of Wanda's hand.

Clint swallowed before looking at Natasha: „Nat… you don't have to go inside…" Natasha bit her lip and she managed say in a wobbly voice: „I… want to…" Clint sighed softly: „They will ask us to leave soon… where will you go?"

Natasha looked down and murmured: „Don't know…" Clint started brushing the strands of hair that sticked to her face away: „Come home with me, okay?" Natasha nodded slightly: „Thank… you…"

The door to the small room, where only Clint and Natasha were left burst open. Scott and Hope stopped when they saw them there and immediately understood. Scott stared at Natasha before sharing a look with Hope. He sighed and whispered: „Hell no… this is not true… shit, why?" Clint looked at the both of them with glassy eyes: „You can go inside if you want to…"

Scott hesitated before dropping in one of the chairs: „No… I'll wait… a bit." Hope sat down beside him and took his hand in hers.

Natasha took a deep breath before looking up at Clint: „Let's go…" Clint nodded slightly and walked inside the room with her.

The others stood still next to the surgical table and Tony and Wanda briefly looked up at Clint and Natasha. Bucky's face was deathly pale and he only stared down at Steve who was covered with a white sheet up to his abdomen. His eyes were closed and there were still red stains on his face and hair. Natasha pooled all the strength she had left and stepped forward. With her shaking hand she carefully caressed Steve's cheek and let out a sob when she found it cold. Natasha's hand fell away and she shook her head: „Why… do you do this to me? I love you, for God's sake!" She couldn't help and started crying again, „Wake up! Don't leave me all alone!" Clint hesitantly took her hand: „Nat… calm down. That's not helpful, okay?" Natasha shook him off. She looked down at Steve once again, before looking at Tony. Her voice came out surprisingly loud and cold, when she addressed him: „Fuck you, Stark…" She brushed Steve's forehead with her lips before leaving.

Clint was following her immediately because he knew that the strong facade would crumble again when the door was closed. Natasha leaned against the wall when she was sure Tony couldn't see her any longer and ran her hands through her hair. Clint stopped right next to her and waited for her to say something. She took a few moments to calm down before she quietly pleaded: „Take me away from here… as far as possible."

Clint nodded slightly and took her hand: „Come on… I already called Laura on the way here."

Tony slowly disengaged his eyes from the door Natasha and Clint had just used. He blinked a few times before looking at Bucky and then Wanda. Wanda's eyes still showed a hint of red and bitterness: „You know… she has a point." After saying that Wanda focused on Steve again. Tony started chewing on his bottom lip. He glanced at Steve once more and squeezed his eyes shut. He sighed, looked up and opened his eyes again: „Gotta go…"

He adjusted his jacket and walked out of the room – with the intention of emptying that bottle of Dalmore Trinitas 64 yo he kept in his safe at Stark Tower.

* * *

 _ **The word 'happiness' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness**_ **–Carl Jung**

 **That's all I have left to tell you; Sorry… Please review**


	2. Update

It's been ages, people! But there is finally a sixth part! If you are still interested please check it out. It's called "How dare you!"


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